Coca–cola

Instructions

You have three bottles of coke one of the bottles has his cap glued/taped so it can’t get open.

This is an exercise that exist in different steps. 

Step one- shaking

You give the student the task to shake the bottles. They can enjoy theirselves.
Reflection:

• What do you notice? What do you see? what do you hear? what do you feel
  • You see bubbles
  • you hear rustle
  • you feel that the bottle is hard
• If you compare this with feelings/frustrations that you get through daily life, what are your personal feeling/frustration bubbles?

Step two – opening

First bottle – the bottle with the closed cap –Sub-assertive

• You ask the student to open the bottle, this doesn’t work.
• The whole content; the bubbles, the pressure,… it stays in the bottle.

Reflection:

There is a lot going on, but the feelings, frustrations stays inside… 

• Do you think if you do this a lot, you have self-respect?

No, because you don’t do anything with your feelings and frustration, the tension stays inside… and that is not a great feeling.

So why do you do this?

Maybe you don’t want to hurt the other, maybe you don’t want to bother someone? Maybe you don’t know how to tell? Maybe you don’t think it is important enough?

…

But if nobody knows what you feel, how can they know what they can do to help you, understand you? Or what they can do differently?

Second bottle – the explosion  – aggressive

After shaking the bottle, give the students the task to open the bottle in one smooth movement.

The coke bursts out the bottle. This is your emotion bursting out. 

Reflection: 

There was a lot going on in the bottle, but with the explosion the tension is gone. 

• How can we see explosions like this in humans?
• Do you think if you react this way, you respect the others?

No, with your explosion you can hurt other people ( by yelling, by cursing, by hitting,..) in this case you literally make someone ‘dirty’ ( look at your clothes, your hands,…) people may distance themselves from you. 

• Do you think if you react this way, you have self-respect?

Yes and No.

Yes: you stand up for yourself, you make it clear that something is wrong / that you do not agree … 

No: You’re doing this in a disproportionate way that makes you ‘literally’ lose content ( look at the bottle). Afterwards you may experience shame and guilt.

Third Bottle – the ‘pssssttttt’ – assertive

After shaking the bottle, give the students the task to open the bottle. Ask them to open it in a way they don’t spill liquid.
Reflection:

There was a lot going on in the bottle, but when you opened It in a controlled way, you didn’t lose content and the tension goes away.

• Do you think if you react this way, you have self-respect?

Yes.

Yes: you stand up for yourself, you don’t let yourself be, you make it clear that something is wrong / that you do not agree,…

• Do you think if you react this way, you respect the others?

Yes: you tell the other people what’s going on but without hurting them. This way you can start a dialogue with another person. You treat others how you like to be threated. 

General reflection:

After this exercise you can talk about communication in general.

Example: 

• In which bottle do you recognize yourself the most?
• What are examples that you reacted to in different situations? Can you link it to the bottle?
• How can you act more like the third bottle?
• What can help you to take away the tension in your bottle?